…musing

Carbon footprint? …covered. I always source local zebra.
(Photo: http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com/page/8)

Music blogger and dabbler in white social commentary, Scott Simms, graces us with his Friday musings:

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“White people love spending money on stuff that is time consuming and complicated. This “stuff” nets us a minimal level of increased tangible benefit, but greatly increases our self satisfaction. Think of it as a Smugness Return on Investment or SROI. Here are practical examples of SROI at work:

• French Press Coffee tastes SO much better than regular drip. Please don’t forget to grind your own beans COARSELY and let steep at least 4 minutes before you even THINK about pouring into your eco friendly to-go mug made from post consumer recycled waste.
• Oh you haven’t heard the new Grizzly Bear limited edition tour 7″?  I had to show up 4 hours early to the show and recite a haiku at the merch table, but it has a Memory Tapes remix of “Gun-Shy.” Totally worth it. Do you have a turntable I can borrow?
• Welcome to my dinner party! How do you like that caprese salad? Its totally local – grew the basil myself and those heirloom tomatoes are from the Farmers Market. Of course I used different knifes to chop the basil and slice the tomatoes – have you ever tried to slice a tomato with a non-serrated blade? Might as well be using a shard of glass.

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So remember the next time you reach for those organic dates at Whole Foods or pick up that roll of Egyptian cotton toilet paper, you are better than everyone else and you deserve it.”

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Check out Scott’s site: http://youagn.wordpress.com/ for all the latest in white people hipster jams.  Photos of Scott in extremely short jorts and a tank top, proving he is indeed the whitest man alive, are available upon special request.